JARED WARRENHEIM
Male, 27 years old.
HOST J0001
STATUS: ASSIMILATION FAILED, DIGESTION COMPLETE.
Born November 18th 1995
Hired as a computer technician in the old Happy Meat Farms IT department in 2016.
Very capable with computers and technology.
NOTABLE BACKGROUND INFORMATION:
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HOST was an only child.
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He never knew his father. Still lived with his mother.
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His mother was verbally abusive and manipulative.
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Socially awkward. Never had any friends in high school.
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Severe inferiority complex and issues with women.
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Hates his mother but also desperately wants her approval.
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Obsessed with the animated kids show “SpongeBob Squarepants”
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He's been morbidly curious since he was a child. Dissected animals in his backyard.
WHAT A LOSER!
EMPLOYEE INCIDENT REPORT:
5 different women working in the Happy Meat Farms offices reported HOST to the old HR department for inappropriate behavior and stalking.
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Although it was never proven, it was believed that the HOST accessed these women’s personal emails and communications to learn more about them.
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The women who confronted the HOST about his behavior all later received some sort of psychological retribution from him in return.
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One woman’s personal messages were leaked to the office, and another women with a fear of rats later found a dead one in her desk.
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RECOMMENDATION: POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT.
As this was a first generation HOST, the SPORE was grown and planted by MOTHER herself inside of the IT office ventilation system.
SHE CHOSE ME.
First contact was made by speaking to the HOST through the air ducts.
He initially believed the voice was from a female employee in the office one floor above, but he could never find the actual source.
The voice sounded very similar to the HOST's biological mother.
HOST DISCOVERY PROCESS:
MARGARET WARRENHEIM:
HOST’s entire self-worth and identity is built around his biological mother, Margaret Warrenheim.
HOST bears a striking physical resemblance to his father, which is likely a large contributing factor to why she despises him so much.
Despite the constant torment, HOST still believes that his mother cares for him deep down, and he would do anything for her approval.
RECOMMENDATION: REPLACE HIS MOTHER.
BEHAVIOR ANALYSIS:
HOST had a difficult childhood, and watching “SpongeBob SquarePants” was likely one of the few stable, positive things in his life.
He has seen every episode multiple times and can quote the show verbatim.
He was one of the main contributors to the SpongeBob fan Wikipedia, and would write fanfiction and theories about the show in his free time.
He applied multiple times to work for the show, but was rejected every time.
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RECOMMENDATION: USEFUL FOR FUTURE HOST?
NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT:
2 weeks after first contact, MUSE J0001 befriended and gained the trust of the HOST through the air ducts.
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Most of their conversations had turned into talks about his mother.
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4 weeks after first contact, the voice in the air duct began a constant barrage of negative reinforcement about his mother.
(audio excerpt taken from 4 weeks and 2 days after first contact)
COMMUNICATIONS FROM MUSE J0001:
Intercepted from IT resource reports.
(hidden text given a ROT13 cipher)
CUNFR BAR PBZCYRGR. UBFG PBZCYVNAG. CEBIVQR CFLPUBYBTVPNY ERVASBEPRZRAG. >
PHASE ONE COMPLETE. HOST COMPLIANT. PROVIDE PSYCHOLOGICAL REINFORCEMENT.
CUNFR GJB PBZCYRGR. FCBER CYNAGRQ. ZBGURE ERZBIRQ. >
PHASE TWO COMPLETE. SPORE PLANTED. MOTHER REMOVED.
After much discussion, HOST managed to convince his mother to come to his place of work for a tour.
He brought her to MOTHER’S CHAMBER in the new HR building, pushed her inside and shut the door behind her.
HOST has mentally replaced his mother with MOTHER.
PROGRESS SUCCESSFUL, BEGIN ASSIMILATION AND DIGESTION SOON.
Incident Report 08/29/17:
UPDATES:
STATUS: DIGESTION FAILURE. ASSIMILATION FAILURE. MUSE J0001 IN CRITICAL CONDITION
Several hours after DIGESTION had begun, HOST suddenly managed to stop the process, causing severe damage to MUSE J0001.
It was unclear how or why HOST was able to do this. All previous signs indicated that he was more than ready for DIGESTION.
When questioned, all HOST said was “she still loves me”
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT HE HAD IT IN HIM?
Incident Report 09/01/17:
HOST succesfully completed the second attempted DIGESTION process.
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As MUSE J0001 is now in a defective form, ASSIMILATION is not possible. RECONNECTION was completed.
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MUSE J0001 could still prove to be useful inside of the IT department. Mechanized body modifications will be required to function effectively.
HOW I OBTAINED PERFECTION
File updated 01/01/2023